Well that takes some of the pressure off!

So I have finally, after 8 months of unemployment stress, landed a new job. It came as a bit of a shock, to be honest, I thought for that particular interview I had completely blown it and kind of wrote it off as a lost opportunity. Apparently, they felt differently. When the HR manager called …

When panic strikes

So yeah, I've been less than a little delinquent with keeping up on my blog. As much as I know that writing is one of the things that can help me cope with my bipolar disorder and get the whirling thoughts out of my brain and dumped somewhere useful, I find it hard to sometimes …

Performance Anxiety

So I have a show tomorrow night and the steady waves of nervousness have been washing over me for the last couple of days. Seriously, I can get nervous for a show a good week before a performance - that's usually when it hits me that what I've been playing at in my den for …

Purpose

One big part of being unemployed is feeling the lack of purpose. Oh sure, there's housework that can be done and errands to run but a truly, overarching purpose? Not so much. I've been doing some casual freelance for a former manager (who doesn't have the budget to hire me full-time - bugger!) and I …

Spinning thoughts

My brain is having a hard time today. My anxiety has been peaking since I woke up this morning and I've taken what I lovingly call my emergency pills to try to get the thundering in my chest to slow down. It's not helping that it's a cloudy, rainy day today. I do have dance …

Just another problem to deal with

So since apparently having migraines and being bipolar isn't enough to cope with when one is unemployed and stressed about finding a new job, my orthopedic surgeon is suggesting I may need surgery on my right knee. I've already had 3 on my left knee to fix a very bad injury from my early 20s, …

Bye-bye February, don’t let the door hit you on the way out

February has been - to put it bluntly - a completely crappy month. Three storms, temperatures running from spring tease to sub-arctic and back again. We haven't seen much in the way of sun either, but that's just the way winter goes. Regardless, I am so beyond ready for spring. I mean, I am a …

The damaging effects of “no”

Like anyone looking for work, one word you start to hear a lot of is the word no. Oh, never in such a crass or blunt manner. No becomes an art that hiring managers master at some point. They get creative, use derogatory terminology meant to sound somehow positive. They provide rationale for their artistic …

Long weekend lows

Yesterday was a provincial holiday here and that meant most of Ontario had the day off. Being among the unemployed, alas, a long weekend is just one less day I can potentially hear from possible employers. It's lovely having my husband home for an extra day - we get an extra morning of coffee, papers …

Melting down

One of those days where nothing is good. I'm so worried about work that I can't even focus on the good stuff like getting an interview. It's a vicious circle. I wake up, sad sets in, I cry, I get into meltdown mode, and wind up with a wicked headache or actual migraine. And today …